From bad advice—(“Too much sex makes your vagina loose!”) to long-disputed myths —women are subjected to scrutiny over their privates, with corporations ready to capitalize.
“There’s a lot of money in vaginal shame,” writes health columnist and gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter in her book, ‘The Vagina Bible.’
From bad advice—(“Too much sex makes your vagina loose!”) to long-disputed myths (“The G-spot does not exist”) —women are subjected to scrutiny over their privates, with companies ready to capitalize.
The world’s obsession with vagina-shaming has brought about the rise of many other disturbing practices such as labiaplasties, which involve surgically trimming one’s labia minora to achieve a ‘prettier’ vagina. Society’s general disdain for lady parts—as things needing to be prepped and pruned—is firmly rooted in our insecurities, sure; and such insecurities are heighted by and exploited through capitalism, patriarchy and misogyny.
Consider the ‘intimate wash’ sections found in your local pharmacy or drugstore. Those shelves are littered with products intended to leave a woman’s nether regions smelling like a field of roses. All the products are packaged in soft-colors—baby blues, pinks, lavender—and explicitly label the product is intended for the vaginal area. Interestingly enough though, there is no similar section for men.
While crowd sourcing on Twitter, I surveyed a few women followers about some of the myths they’d heard about vaginas. One of the most prevalent beliefs involve negative feelings they have around their vaginal scent.
In a survey I ran on my Instagram, where the majority of those who voted (ages 18-28, based on my audience), most (79%) voted that they do not use vaginal washes. It’s comforting to know that our hyper-awareness about our vaginas may turn into something positive: a way we educate each other to fight against misogyny.
Dr. Gunter corroborates this unofficial survey of mine, and admits that often times, women visiting her office often complain about their vaginal scents, despite nothing being medically wrong with their vaginas.
“There has been no change in causes of genital odor over the past 25 years,” she writes.” She goes on to attribute this trend to how women have become hyper-aware of their vaginas and while she says that this awareness is due to the relentless marketing of various vaginal products and procedures.
“What has changed is the proliferation of products designed to shame women about the normal smell of their body and tame the female genital tract for some misogynistic ideal.”
I myself would argue that it is due to society’s tendency to set impossible standards for women. Women are always expected to present a certain way: not a hair should be out of place; we must be delicate and dainty. These standards are applied to even our private parts.
Even young girls are susceptible to early self-scrutiny, who at early age, are already hyperaware of their vaginas.
Renowned South African writer Malaika Mahlatsi recounts online a story of when she was 15, she stole her mother’s perfume and “not only sprayed it on [her] G-string, but inside and outside [her] vagina as well” in preparation for what was intended to be her first sexual encounter. Ms. Mahlatsi goes on to explain her rationale at that time: “I stole my mom’s Sunflower perfume […] because in my head, my vagina wasn’t smelling nice enough.” Fortunately her vagina survived this horrific ordeal.
Ms. Mahlatsi’s story is telling of how young women and girls are pressured by dangerous societal expectations. And while no one may explicitly assert such expectations– “Malaika, your vagina must smell like roses”–or even more covertly, as with advertisements for instance, Gunter argues that these unrealistic standards are generally signaled by the misogynistic, negative language used when discussing feminine hygiene and the state of our vaginas.
If for any reason one thinks her vagina smells “bad” then she ought to consider that an underlying health issue may be the reason. Instead of bemoaning the way your labias looks, acknowledge instead that all vulvas look different. If you do not bleed the first time you have sex, realize that the hymen (which causes the bleeding) is a superficial membrane that had likely been broken while doing everyday, various activities like riding a bike..
It’s no coincidence that the aforementioned myths are a means of policing a women’s body and her sexual activities and not only attempts to shame women, but to control them as well. There is a sort of fear mongering created aimed at making women believe that if you remain chaste, you will have a ‘good’ vagina and find a good husband.
Fortunately times are changing, albeit slowly. Young women are getting to know their bodies and are fighting back, especially online. I would go as far as to argue that nowadays, the average millennial woman who has access to social media platforms is aware of the misconceptions and is able to eschew gimmicks that pressure them to not accept their bodies as is.
Ms. Mahlatsi perfectly summarizes what I believe most young women are starting to understand as well, which is that “[…]a vagina should be clean, but should not smell like a flower since it is, in fact, not a damn flower.”
And that is the only vagina-related advice you should take with you in 2020.
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