7 Women Share The Best Advice Their Mothers Gave Them
If you’re fortunate to have a mother who’s good to you, you know how indispensable they can be in helping you through the perils of life. Below, seven women share words of wisdom from their méres on love, life, and self-worth. We think they’re all worth a read!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. Love to those who are having a tough day today, too.
1. Be independent.
Wadzanai and her mom, Anne
My mom has always advised me to work hard and be independent, to not rely on anybody. She taught me to be a strong woman who shouldn’t be afraid to pursue her goals despite the hardships and the opposition. In the face of odds, she pursued her life with passion and courage and taught us that our pursuits are valid and to not let anyone derail us from what we wanted to achieve in life.
My mom stands 6 feet tall, full of fabulous and she has told me though every phase of my life–buck teeth, braces, underweight, overweight, acne, flawless skin, middle school insecurity, college–
“You cute!”
You know when you’re on the playground and someone would say “You think you cute!” she would say, ‘Tell them ‘Yep you do!’”
Her advice has given me unbelievable confidence and not just in the physical but within. What my mamma’s favorite black girl saying really says is that you matter and you’re worthy–everywhere you are. Now as a new mother of a 8 week old (OMG!) girl I get it even more.
“When you take a man’s dignity, he’ll do anything to get it back.” And it’s reality true. I always think about that before I have to humble someone. There’s away to do it without stripping people of their dignity. If you have to do that, one should be prepared for them to do anything to get it back. Mother-daughter relationships are really hard. Sometimes our mothers aren’t enough, so the things they do get right are really special.
“All cats are black at night.” No matter what anyone says, never think you are different from another person. What anyone can do, you can do too!
—Aisha Diori, AKA Glitteratie, African diasporan tastemaker and media personality
5. Be Kind.
Alice and her mother, Margarita
My mother instilled in me the importance of prayer and developing a close relationship with God. She always taught me to treat others with love and kindness; to treat others the way I’d like to be treated. She lives this in all she does. –Alice Weise-Goode, Founder and President, Nubian Hair Studio
6. Know yourself.
Ladi’Sasha and her mom, Lillian.
My mother’s advice has always emphasized the importance of building good character and self-confidence. Pushing me to aim for the measures of success I create and recreate for myself. Sharing that I should never let my fear of rejection get in the way. “The worst anyone can say is no” she would say, “and if they do, then you simply figure out another way. There’s always another way.” My mom, would ask me to remember not to compare my achievements (or shortcomings) to anyone else, and to never down-play my excellence for the sake of someone’s lack of knowledge of self. “What is coming for you, is for you. What is for meant for someone else is theirs. No need to get caught up in the distracting emotions of rivalry. Just stay focused on your path and goals.” I continuously resource my mother’s words to navigate my career and communal networks. She illustrated the important role sisterhood through friendship could have on one’s life and instilled in me pride and allegiance to the communities and people I come from. On her thirtieth Mother’s Day, I wish Lillian Shabazz a very sweet and charm-filled day. —Ladi’Sasha Jones, writer and curator
7. Don’t force it.
Adenike and her mom, Christiana
My mom has always stressed the importance of straddling that fine line between pushing yourself beyond your limits and having the self-awareness to know when things–particularly men–are just not for you. “Don’t force it,” she’d always tell me. Her advice has saved me a lot of trouble–and heartache–and for that, I’m thankful.–Adenike Olanrewaju, Founder, AYO Magazine
Welcome to AYO, an international meeting place for black women.
Here at AYO, we share honest, relevant stories for smart, creative, engaged, black women. From Brooklyn to Bordeaux, Lagos to Laos, we aim to meet black women wherever they are in the world. Literally.
AYO was launched in 2016 by founder and editor-in-chief Adenike Olanrewaju.
AYO is a labor of love that we hope will be a wellspring of cultural examinations and celebration; a place where various kinds of the black woman can exist. In this space, there is joy.
